Setting guidelines about when to share feelings is really tricky. The ultimate goal of dating is about feelings and intimacy, but people are generally quite confused about their real feelings at first dates. Dating is about setting a firm foundation for a relationship, but in the early stages of dating everything is changing so fast you have to be careful about what you are saying.
There are a few basic rules about sharing feelings: the first and most important thing is you should be a bit cautious about expressing them. You don't have to be secretive, but try to live with your feelings a bit before you are talking about them. This way you can make sure what you're saying is true not only for a moment. If a feeling is not going to be true for ten minutes, don't talk about it.
You should also try to look for the appropriate words that describe your feelings: don't say 'I love you' if you really just want to have sex. As you start to have some history together, words will have a context and will be interpreted that way.
When you decide what feelings to share, have in mind what your date could reasonably expect at any given time. A promise of eternal love on the first date can feel good, but did you think it over what 'eternal' means? These promises are believable only in movies and romance novels. In real life, such statements are made only by unbalanced, needy or manipulative people.
'I really enjoyed spending time with you and I would like to meet you again' is not that flashy as 'Will you marry me?', but it is more credible. A marriage proposal on the first date makes girls feel good, but it is totally unrealistic. Dating is about fun and knowing each other, not about self-delusion. If want to let your date know about what your feelings are, say something like 'I know it is too early to say this, but it feels so good to be with you'.
Saying 'I love you' for the first time is one of the most special moments in a relationship. But even if you feel in on the first date, you should wait several months before you utter this phrase into your partner's ear. On the first dates your feelings can be really confusing: what if you find out after a few weeks that you don't love him/her?
Saying 'I love you' bears also a question: 'do you love me?' If you don't have the same feelings as your date, don't say 'Love you too'. At first this is what sounds like the right thing to say, but as you relationship goes on, it will make things really complicated.
Make sure what you both mean about 'love' before saying it: some think about marriage when this word comes up, others don't even think monogamy has to come with love. And if you are tempted to say 'I love you' during sex or when you are separated, are just forget about it.
There are a few basic rules about sharing feelings: the first and most important thing is you should be a bit cautious about expressing them. You don't have to be secretive, but try to live with your feelings a bit before you are talking about them. This way you can make sure what you're saying is true not only for a moment. If a feeling is not going to be true for ten minutes, don't talk about it.
You should also try to look for the appropriate words that describe your feelings: don't say 'I love you' if you really just want to have sex. As you start to have some history together, words will have a context and will be interpreted that way.
When you decide what feelings to share, have in mind what your date could reasonably expect at any given time. A promise of eternal love on the first date can feel good, but did you think it over what 'eternal' means? These promises are believable only in movies and romance novels. In real life, such statements are made only by unbalanced, needy or manipulative people.
'I really enjoyed spending time with you and I would like to meet you again' is not that flashy as 'Will you marry me?', but it is more credible. A marriage proposal on the first date makes girls feel good, but it is totally unrealistic. Dating is about fun and knowing each other, not about self-delusion. If want to let your date know about what your feelings are, say something like 'I know it is too early to say this, but it feels so good to be with you'.
Saying 'I love you' for the first time is one of the most special moments in a relationship. But even if you feel in on the first date, you should wait several months before you utter this phrase into your partner's ear. On the first dates your feelings can be really confusing: what if you find out after a few weeks that you don't love him/her?
Saying 'I love you' bears also a question: 'do you love me?' If you don't have the same feelings as your date, don't say 'Love you too'. At first this is what sounds like the right thing to say, but as you relationship goes on, it will make things really complicated.
Make sure what you both mean about 'love' before saying it: some think about marriage when this word comes up, others don't even think monogamy has to come with love. And if you are tempted to say 'I love you' during sex or when you are separated, are just forget about it.
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