Sure, most of us have been brought up on the idea that we should be on a never-ending quest to find true love. Well, it's not exactly never-ending, as once you find love, everyone's supposed to live happily ever after, right? Ah, the joys of a steady diet of Disney princesses and pop music. There's nothing quite like that combination to set one's romantic expectations at a ridiculous level.
So, is that all this whole dating thing is really about? Is it just a matter of interviewing guys for the role of groom? Does every relationship have to be rated on the commitment scale with those scoring less than a 9.5 being tossed out the window? Not necessarily. Dating doesn't have to be a prelude to marriage.
There is something to be said for just having a good time with someone you really like. Forget about commitment for a minute. Forget about marriage, too. Maybe your dating experience will lead to true love, and maybe it won't. That certainly doesn't mean that you're just wasting your time while you find out. After all, there are restaurants to explore, movies to see, walks to take, and-um-other things to do. None of these has "true love" as a prerequisite. O.K., for some people, that other things category might require true love. That's your choice. Love is nice, but it's not all there is to dating.
The point is that just because you haven't found true love doesn't mean you should melt into a puddle of despair. That's just silly. Maybe the guy you're seeing isn't Mr. Right. So what? Is he fun? Are you enjoying yourself? If so, then there's no rule against having a good time just because you're not in love. In fact, it's sort of your prerogative.
Think about all of your married friends. Yeah, they might talk about how great it is to find that person that-it hurts to even type this-"completes" them; but deep down, most of them are pretty jealous of you. Why do you think they look to you for relationship advice?
That's not to say that you've got it made. Dating can be a lot of fun, but it can be a lot of hard work, too. The problem comes when you focus only on the work aspect and totally forget the part where you're supposed to have a good time. When every outing is pared down to whether or not you're going to find love that evening, a lot of the joy disappears from the whole process. Dating should be fun.
Of course, the "dating without true love" approach does have its pitfalls. Just because you're not falling head-over-heels doesn't mean that your date isn't. Dating when you both know it's not necessarily true love can be a blast. Dating when only one of you understands this element of the relationship can be a total disaster. You have to be up front with the guy, but if you discover you're both on the same page about the issue, why not set a few ground rules and have a good time?
While the idea here is to enjoy yourself without worrying about true love, it's not a bad idea to keep in mind that sometimes it does sneak up on you. Be open-minded, but remember that if you've agreed ahead of time that you're dating in a no-true-love zone, he might not be open to the idea if you end up being the one who changes her mind.
So, is that all this whole dating thing is really about? Is it just a matter of interviewing guys for the role of groom? Does every relationship have to be rated on the commitment scale with those scoring less than a 9.5 being tossed out the window? Not necessarily. Dating doesn't have to be a prelude to marriage.
There is something to be said for just having a good time with someone you really like. Forget about commitment for a minute. Forget about marriage, too. Maybe your dating experience will lead to true love, and maybe it won't. That certainly doesn't mean that you're just wasting your time while you find out. After all, there are restaurants to explore, movies to see, walks to take, and-um-other things to do. None of these has "true love" as a prerequisite. O.K., for some people, that other things category might require true love. That's your choice. Love is nice, but it's not all there is to dating.
The point is that just because you haven't found true love doesn't mean you should melt into a puddle of despair. That's just silly. Maybe the guy you're seeing isn't Mr. Right. So what? Is he fun? Are you enjoying yourself? If so, then there's no rule against having a good time just because you're not in love. In fact, it's sort of your prerogative.
Think about all of your married friends. Yeah, they might talk about how great it is to find that person that-it hurts to even type this-"completes" them; but deep down, most of them are pretty jealous of you. Why do you think they look to you for relationship advice?
That's not to say that you've got it made. Dating can be a lot of fun, but it can be a lot of hard work, too. The problem comes when you focus only on the work aspect and totally forget the part where you're supposed to have a good time. When every outing is pared down to whether or not you're going to find love that evening, a lot of the joy disappears from the whole process. Dating should be fun.
Of course, the "dating without true love" approach does have its pitfalls. Just because you're not falling head-over-heels doesn't mean that your date isn't. Dating when you both know it's not necessarily true love can be a blast. Dating when only one of you understands this element of the relationship can be a total disaster. You have to be up front with the guy, but if you discover you're both on the same page about the issue, why not set a few ground rules and have a good time?
While the idea here is to enjoy yourself without worrying about true love, it's not a bad idea to keep in mind that sometimes it does sneak up on you. Be open-minded, but remember that if you've agreed ahead of time that you're dating in a no-true-love zone, he might not be open to the idea if you end up being the one who changes her mind.
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