How to Save Your Marriage - What the Experts Are Not Telling You

There are hundreds of marriage self-help books on "How to save your marriage" available to help couples stop divorce. Yet, the divorce rate seems to be on the uptrend. It is because the advices on those self-help books are bunk? No!

How to save your marriage can only be successfully achieved if you change your approach to handling your marriage problems.

Stop criticizing!

Every one of us is a critique. Do not verbally attack your spouse just because they do something you do not like. It is better if you tell them in a non-judgmental way. It will definitely make your life more pleasant.

Always rule out divorce!

Your marriage is on the rocks. Yes, you and your spouse discussed about divorce. Yet, it is something neither of you really want. If that is the case, banish talk about divorce in your conversations. If you consider divorce as not an option, stop even mentioning it. Do not make the mistake of using divorce as a threat. Divorce is more likely to become a reality if you bring up the subject often. It will be an option you might regret later.

No one is perfect - accept that your spouse is imperfect!

As newlyweds, ignoring all the annoying habits of your spouse was easy. Your spouse forgot to pick up their clothes, your spouse forgot to call when they are late or your partner forgot to fill the gas tank. Once upon a time, you can just close an eye. However, the irritation on such behavior starts to build up over the years. Remember, your spouse is not perfect. You may have some annoying habits too. So, the next time your spouse does something that irritates you, pause before you jump. Consider if those behaviors are really that serious. If they are not, let it go.

Always remember to respect your spouse!

Remember when you and your spouse first dated or during the early years of the marriage. You are polite to each other. You said "thank you" and "please" often. You and your spouse will politely and patiently resolve any disagreements. However, over the years, those actions are forgotten because we take our spouse for granted. For you to try and save your marriage, both of you must get back to that level of respect you had for each other.

Take time to learn and understand more about your spouse!

Your spouse is a unique individual. Take time to understand the way your spouse approach the marriage and the relationship. Keep an open mind. You may have been married for a long time. It does not mean you know everything about your spouse.

It does not have to be complicated when you are trying to figure out how to save your marriage. Relying on the free information available on the internet is not enough. Not all fundamentals are addressed in self-help books written by professional marriage counselors. Whatever you do, make sure you start with a good foundation when you are trying to save your marriage. Most importantly take action.

How Do I Make My Husband Love Me Again? Ways to Win His Heart

Satirist, Mark Twain, once wrote, "It ain't what you don't know that gets you into trouble. It's what you know for sure that just ain't so." It is impossible to make your husband love you again, when you don't know how your actions might be part of the problem.

• Hold your tongue. Listen to how you communicate with one another. Put yourself in your partner's shoes and ask yourself how you'd feel if the roles were reversed. What may have been cute when you were dating might be hurtful or inappropriate, at times. If you argue, don't get into the habit of saying things you have to apologize for later. In all your interactions, be respectful and his love for you will begin to grow.

• Size matters. Don't belittle him. Whether you're the breadwinner, or the only thing keeping the family or relationship working resist the urge to throw it in his face. He may silently worry if he's doing enough, if he's keeping you happy and doing a good job providing for you so feed his ego. Let him know how much you appreciate his presence in your life and it will be even easier to make your husband love you again.

• Remember the past. Greek astronomer, Ptolemy, believed the sun revolved around the earth. Don't repeat history. When you're in a loving relationship, it can be easy to forget that you're not the only person involved; the world doesn't revolve around you. It's also a good practice to act as though you're still dating. Remember how scary it was when you weren't sure of his feelings. Remember how great it felt when he said, "I love you." Remember how liberating it was when you found out he liked you better without make-up or that you didn't have to suck in your stomach anymore because he loves your belly. When you remember what made you fall in love, rather than harp on insignificant flaws, your love for him will be radiant and magnetic.

• Paper burns, rips, and can be shredded. Many women believe that the marriage certificate is a pair of shackles, instead of paper. Ever notice how we can treat our family, when we know they are stuck with us? We don't call until we need something, we forget birthdays and important events, we can be flaky, needy, moody and immature and after all that, we still expect family to love us. If you adopt this attitude with your marriage, you will fail at making your husband love you again. Flirt with him, make him feel sexy and masculine, get him to open the pickle jar when you know you can do it yourself. Learn to need him and he will realize how much he needs you!

How to Save Your Marriage by Doing Almost the Exact Opposite of What Every Marriage Counselor Says!

Have you been wondering how you're going to save your marriage, but don't have much faith in the marriage counseling industry? Well, considering that there's an over 50% failure rate for marriage...and the marriage counseling industry is enormous...then you're probably on the right track.

You see, sometimes even though everyone's doing it, it doesn't make it right? Isn't that what your mother used to say to you?

Well, I hate to sound like your mother, but I'm saying it to you too. You may be doing all the wrong things to save your marriage, simply because you're following the usual advice.

You see, it wasn't long ago that I was just like you trying desperately to save the marriage with the person I loved more than anything. I looked through tons of advice and marriage counseling books, and stories, etc.

The problem was that I didn't like most approaches. Now that doesn't mean that the approach is wrong because Jason Nelson doesn't like it, but I just wasn't comfortable with traditional counseling, and was pretty sure that my wife wasn't either.

Are All Marriage Counselors Wrong and Worthless?

Of course not, and I don't mean to imply that. But with the statistics above I don't think it's hard to see that a lot of them might be worthless.

But let's be fair. Let's look at some of the usual things that you'd be told by a traditional marriage counselor.

First of all they'll almost always try to drag both of you in to their office so that you can sit on a couch and hash everything out in front of them. I truly believe that they're doing what they fill is the right thing to do. I don't think they do this to mean any harm what so ever.

It actually makes sense that you'd want to see how the two people communicate.

But in my experience, I figured out...or should I say found...a way to save my marriage without needing my wife's involvement! Imagine that, for the longest time she didn't even know that I was trying to save my marriage.

I knew that there were enough things that I was doing wrong in the marriage that if I could just fix those things alone, then my marriage would be at least 50% better. That was my way of thinking. Now I think every marriage counselor would tell you that that's nuts, and that it takes two to tango. You've heard it all, but I was stubborn and wanted to at least try.

How to Save the 50% (or more) of Your Marriage That Is Your Fault!

Ok in my case it was more but let's just call it 50% to round it off.:)

One of the biggest and what I feel the most effective things I did was quit trying to talk about all of our problems.

I mean come on, who wants to keep going on and on about the same things that never get solved in the first place. It's not like I was going to suddenly make her think that I'm right, or suddenly think that her points of view were right. So I dropped these issues, and started coming up with ways on my end to solve them.

But more than that, I began the journey to becoming a better husband. It wasn't instantaneous, but dropping all of the big ole' issues that kept causing more fights was a huge start because...well...a lot of the fighting stopped.

Now I'm no expert, but this was a much better way to save my marriage than keep rehashing all of the stuff that bothered us each time it came up.

My marriage was and still is the most important thing in the world to me. I decided that if it was be fixed that it was up to me to fix it. Basically my wife had given up on it being repairable. Fortunately I didn't. It wasn't easy, I had a lot to learn.

In a Bad Marriage? Do You Know the Price You're Paying to Stay in a Bad Marriage?

Bad marriages usually don't start that way. At the beginning you admire each other, love each other, and will do whatever it takes to help each other. But down the road things change. Sometimes the relationship erodes quickly; sometimes it decays slowly, almost imperceptibly. At some point you wake up one morning and wonder what is this doing to me?

The answer is that a cost of being in a bad marriage is emotional and physical. The emotional consequences of a bad marriage are well documented and include resentment, isolation, anger, depression, and anxiety.

But as if these problems weren't enough researchers have recently been finding that you pay a price with your health as well. Past studies demonstrated that people who are married were less likely to have surgery and to die from strokes, pneumonia, or accidents. But recently there's been mounting evidence that people who are in strange and unhappy marriages seem to do less well from a medical perspective.

This seems to be truer for women than in men. A study from 2007 found that those who had the most problems in their close relationships were 34 percent more likely to have heart attacks or other heart complications than those who had reported feeling very positive about their close relationships. In addition studies have found that stress in a marriage has been associated with ulcers.

A serious problem for women in marriage comes from bottling up feelings. One study found that women who didn't speak their minds during fights with their spouses were more than four times as likely to die during the 10 year study period as women who always told their husbands how they felt.

There's evidence that sometimes a bad marriage can be worse than none at all. A study from 2008 found that heart patients who are more negative with their partners were nearly twice as likely to die within four years as those who were less negative.

What does this mean for you? It means that it's more important than ever for things to change in your marriage! Find ways to revive your marriage before your health and your emotions pay the price.

3 Surefire Tips to Save a Marriage

Below we shall be discussing 3 surefire tips to save a marriage. Marital problems as we all know come in different shapes, sizes and intensity and to successfully deal with each and every one of them may require the employment of a particular strategy or method. The tip we shall be discussing in this write up are not specific to any kind of marital problem rather it is a general approach that you must take in order to successfully resolve any marital conflict issue that you are faced with.

Surefire Tip 1: Acknowledgment

This tip may not sound very important but it is the single most culpable reason why many people who are divorced today are in that situation. They failed to acknowledge and accept that something was not right in their union until one of them filed for divorce. In truth, you can only seriously start thinking about resolving your marriage problem issues only when you know that such an issue is in existence.

Surefire Tip 2: Identification

The second tip would help you to effectively tackle the problems one by one which is a lot more effective than tackling a hydra headed problem. You will have to identify the nature of each and every one of the problems that is plaguing you so as to be able to sort them out more effectively. Without doing this, you would simply further compound an already complex issue.

Surefire Tip 3: Retracing

The third tip is equally very important though it can be very stressful; you would to try to retrace the genesis of each of the problems that you have identified. Albeit, retracing the genesis of the problem would not necessary solve it but it would act as a caution for you not to trade that part when you do indeed solve it.

Following the three surefire tips to save a marriage above would surely ensure that you save your marriage and of course prevent future serious marital conflict. However, after tip 3 the next logical thing to do is to seek professional help so as to effectively resolve all the marriage problem issues that you have identified. I would advice that you go online while seeking for this professional help because it is by far more advantageous than any other source of help.

Can Women in a Sexless Marriage Stay Positive-Happy - Can it Be Done?

All long term relationships go through the "honeymoon phase" and this is great. But when the sex starts to become less frequent many people may see this as a real problem, especially if one partner has a high sex drive. However, for some couples, living in a sexless marriage doesn't have to spell disaster. So with this is mind, can women in a sexless marriage stay positive/happy? Read on to find out more.

In order to answer this question, it is a good idea to find out why a lack of physical intimacy within a marriage happens. The first thing that people think, when their partner doesn't want sexual contact, is that they don' t fancy them anymore, or that they have found somebody else. However on most occasions this is generally not the case. One of the main reasons for lack of intimacy in men is changing dynamics. Over time relationships change. From the onset of children, to working long hours, to settling into a daily routine and even having to contend with daily money worries such as mortgages and bills. All these things can, and will, have an impact on his sexual libido. So for a woman to stay positive and happy in a sexless marriage it takes a special kind of person with a strong set of beliefs, who is willing to make changes for the sake of her relationship.

For a woman to be positive/happy in a sexless relationship, the act of physical intimacy has to be replaced by something greater. It is possible for a woman, who is faced with this situation and is determined to make it work, to change her thought processes to replace her sexual needs. For example, when you have a couple who are on the same wavelength, ie, they tend to know what each other is thinking before they say it, then you can say that this couple are "in tune" with each other and are on an equal emotional plane. This can become quite powerful in itself, and in some cases, emotional intimacy can, and often does, go way beyond that of physical type. When this happens the reward can be far more gratifying. This is something that can be taught, but it takes a strong person who is willing to do whatever it takes, even if this might mean forgoing sexual contact and intimacy, to keep their marriage alive. Couples who develop this level of emotional intimacy are able to create a really strong marriage bond that can make a lack of sexual intimacy seem almost insignificant.