The No Contact Rule
I'm sure you have heard of the 'no contact' rule before. This is when you cut off all contact, including phoning, messaging, emailing, texting and talking in person with your ex. The purpose is to win your ex back, and the idea is that it will stop you coming across as needy or desperate, help you avoid mistakes in the first couple weeks of a break up, and it will give your ex time to realise what they are missing.
During the no contact period, I advise that you reconnect with old friends, take up a new hobby, seize life and experience something new. Maybe you could change up your style, because that helps you shed any negative feelings associated with the break up. Then you will have more to talk about when you do meet up with your ex.
What Happens After the No Contact Period?
Many a mistake has been made here. When you've reached the date you earmarked for yourself (about three to four weeks from the break up point), it is not time to go running back and hoping things are back to normal.
Call your ex to meet up as friends, not for a date. If you don't get through, then leave it another day, so that it doesn't sound urgent. Decide on a short activity you can enjoy together - lunch is a perfect example. You can be alone, it's not very formal, and you can feasibly say that you have to be somewhere in half an hour.
Don't bring up the past, or the future. Just chat away, and try to build up that old rapport. Show off your new lifestyle, your new confidence. When things are going well, go ahead and ask if you can see your ex again. If the response is negative, just give a little laugh and say, 'It's only lunch.' It is important not to put any pressure on your ex - that is what sends them running to the hills. Make it their decision to come back with you.
If you can not agree on a second meeting, then do not push it any further. Sometimes you can catch your ex off guard, so it is understandable that they will not want to commit to anything. They may well call you up later on.
I'm sure you have heard of the 'no contact' rule before. This is when you cut off all contact, including phoning, messaging, emailing, texting and talking in person with your ex. The purpose is to win your ex back, and the idea is that it will stop you coming across as needy or desperate, help you avoid mistakes in the first couple weeks of a break up, and it will give your ex time to realise what they are missing.
During the no contact period, I advise that you reconnect with old friends, take up a new hobby, seize life and experience something new. Maybe you could change up your style, because that helps you shed any negative feelings associated with the break up. Then you will have more to talk about when you do meet up with your ex.
What Happens After the No Contact Period?
Many a mistake has been made here. When you've reached the date you earmarked for yourself (about three to four weeks from the break up point), it is not time to go running back and hoping things are back to normal.
Call your ex to meet up as friends, not for a date. If you don't get through, then leave it another day, so that it doesn't sound urgent. Decide on a short activity you can enjoy together - lunch is a perfect example. You can be alone, it's not very formal, and you can feasibly say that you have to be somewhere in half an hour.
Don't bring up the past, or the future. Just chat away, and try to build up that old rapport. Show off your new lifestyle, your new confidence. When things are going well, go ahead and ask if you can see your ex again. If the response is negative, just give a little laugh and say, 'It's only lunch.' It is important not to put any pressure on your ex - that is what sends them running to the hills. Make it their decision to come back with you.
If you can not agree on a second meeting, then do not push it any further. Sometimes you can catch your ex off guard, so it is understandable that they will not want to commit to anything. They may well call you up later on.
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