Wednesday, March 10, 2010

How to Fix a Relationship Gone Bad - Stop! Do These 3 Things Right Now!

How to fix a relationship gone bad? I have been on earth for a while now and it seems why relationships turn bad in the first is that people change and stop doing the little or big meaningful things that they use to in the beginning as when they were trying to impressive one another. So when getting relationship breakup problem advice one should be prepared to answer the question, "what changed?"

If you are reaching for straws on that question or you do not know the answer right now, that is okay. But, you should perhaps spend some serious time in reflection attempting to uncover that. I mean it could be something where either one or both of you have changed.

1.> Get a New Notebook: this is an excellent time for you both to sit down together with a notebook in hand and make like a mad scientist deeply exploring this issue.

I have found that using a notebook and naming it something really cool can be a meaningful project that both can remember by and add to. This process starts off with you in airing out some of the issues and uncovering areas weakness in the relationship. Note: This is not to be a blame game session!

What you are attempting to do is self help exploratory relationship surgery in an attempt to find the heart of the destructive forces at work in your relationship. To take advantage of any relationship breakup problem advice, you both need to be committed to do these kinds of mini task and exercises at least once per week and twice would be awesome!

2.> The next step in the process of how to fix a relationship gone bad is that you must make a determination that both (usually) parties have issues that are a cause of friction in the relationship. It is rarely a one way street to where just one person has shortcomings that must be resolved.

Write (handwrite) an informal agreement: In your notebook basically write an informal, non-menacing agreement; like this example: "I am willing to grow here and improve here and I will achieve that by doing this Specific Action 3 times per week." Notice that I was being very specific at what I am going to grow and/or improve at, what I am going to do to get there. Then you cap it off with the fact that you both are going to sign it and date it!

3.> If both of you are in agreement, you should invest in some educational tools and information for the necessary growth, change and mending that will be necessary in the relationship.

The relationship improvement notebook idea is kind of cool because it requires actual physical input from both parties which helps to build a team concept of working together. It helps you both to see how each person is thinking and drives you towards personal, sacrifice for the greater good of your relationship.

Tip: Listen to positive and uplifting music while doing this exercise. Music without words is best and you optimally want it to be inspirational.

Remember to get the full benefit of relationship breakup problem advice; it requires you to be consistently dedicated to the cause of fixing it. It is truly a process where together you both learn how to fix a relationship gone bad.

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